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Superpowers all medics have in Exam Season

By Hithin Noble

You know the saying- not all heroes wear capes. Well this couldn’t be more true. Not to blow our own trumpets or anything (we’re not Jason Derulo), but medics are a different breed during exam season. We develop superpowers during this month like no other. Here are a few of my favourites:

1. Finding a Place to Sit in the Library

Finding a seat in the library is like playing whack-a-mole. Just like a harpoon, empty seat means target is locked and loaded. You have to be smart about this. You’ve got a seat to get. Someone on their phone? Work them puppy eyes and let their guilt set in. You hear a laptop shutdown, make your move. But this is just for the lucky few. People can be sat on the floor, like they are camping outside the Apple Store for the newest iPhone, or reading textbooks stood up. You have a mix of people, all in one place. You’ve got the crammers, the guys who are just on it like a car bonnet, the masters of procrastinators, the loud munchers and my favourites: the nappers. What annoys the ants out of me, is people saving a seat in the library, and swanning off for hours. A bit of time for lunch-no problem at all. The time some of these individuals are gone for is ridiculous. What are they doing- popping off to Primark, having a manicure and ending the day by doing the Harlem Shake? What makes it worse is the way they save their seat. Do they leave their bag? No, some just leave a SINGLE worksheet, or notepad. I don’t care if it’s the Mona Lisa - it means NOTHING. Additionally, some seats are more top end than others. The Mayfair of seats are definitely by the window, with the comfy chairs, and plenty of desk space. The seats you don’t want are near the entrance or the toilet: its more war than peace here, and you are little too close to comfort to the person you’re sat next to. Hopefully, with your seat all set, you can get to work amongst the sweat and stress of exam season.

2. The Mean Lean Caffeine Machine

Caffeine is just a necessity during exam season. You are memorising intricate physiological mechanisms at the middle of the night, and it’s really what stops turning us all into the cast of the Walking Dead. I’m definitely more of a coffee person than tea. I just associate tea with a relaxing night, in front of the telly: it couldn’t be more of the opposite. But here’s my problem with coffee. It’s just a bit grim really. I mean I love an iced latte, the coldness reboots my brain, and there is more sugar than coffee in one of them. But actual coffee, is just as bitter as my fellow Scrubbed Up Co-Founder. The positive is that the bad taste does wake you up. But so would a dog, if it did a poo next to me. Then there are the mad hatters who down energy drinks. Is it me or do they all the taste the same? May I stress though, it’s important to always keep hydrated- to really get your brain juices flowing.

3. Lectures, Lectures and More Lectures

I just love how people listen to lectures at like X2 or even X3 speeds, like they’re listening to Eminem on repeat. It’s certainly an artform: one that I haven’t mastered. I prefer listening to lecturers who actually sound like lecturers and not Mickey Mouse. Forget that, how are you meant to write notes, understand and memorise everything so fast? It’s like rather than marinating the chicken, letting the juices soak in, and then putting it in the oven, you are essentially plopping on the marinade, whilst the chicken is still roasting in the oven. How do I get the mo